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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Remember The Snake In My House?? Well...

That was November 28th,2008 that my grandson said he couldn't get out of the bed because there was a snake on the floor. This morning after my daughter dropped him off at school and came back home,walking down the hall to her bedroom, we hear her say..."hey,ya'll,ummm,there's a snake in your doorway ( our bedroom doorway)" why are they so quiet and calm? because...they didn't learn that from way, I'm one of those shrieking banshees. But you sometimes have to tell me a thing a time or two.." a what?"....."MOM!!.....SNAKE!!!.....YOUR DOOR!!!" sounded like she said "snake?" .."no,that can't be right".."MOM...SNAKE...HERE!!"...OMG..she did say snake! Hoss and I take off running down the hall, with a couple huge dogs on our heels. Dogs who have no clue what the commotion is all about, but maybe someone will PET them, or there's a COOKIE involved somewhere,dogs who are stepping all over this snake, while it's raising up a foot off the floor and backing up in strike position. Dogs who never(never)noticed they were stomping on a snake. And,heh, neither one of us brave enough to actually DO anything about a snake except LOOK at it and say "yep, that there is a SNAKE alright!" My daughter goes back to her bedroom, directly across the hall from my bedroom, where said snake lies in wait. "I have to put on my make-up" she says.! I ran outside and brought in a flat shovel and a round shovel, one for each of us...but now what do we do?? I thought of the shovels, do I have to think of EVERYTHING?"" I know, I'll take PICTURES! Let me get my CAMERA!" (LOL) Call my nephew.."can you come kill this snake?" (LOL) We wait and wait, and finally I tell Hoss to move some of the old picture frames next to it, and I'll CHOP it. No, he says, Let's wait and see if he comes" "ok" I say. I'm hovering in the background though. "Go away! You're making me nervous!" (LOL) What, I ask? I'M making you nervous?" (LOL) He says " something. Can you just go do something?" "ok"...and I go vacuum. I keep stopping and looking down the hall "are you okay? is it still there?" "yeah, leave me alone! go make something!" I vacuum some more. HossFly is staying put. He's not about to leave that snake alone for one second. I put away the vacuum. Here comes Twin and her son. He takes care of the snake and Twin uses one of those Gopher-grabber thingies to carry it outside. Now Hoss is saying he doesn't know if he can sleep tonight. Hah! Welcome to my world! This isn't our first merry-go-round...not our first snake! Heck, it isn't even our fifth snake! (one in the kitchen closet, one in the bedroom, one under the stove in the kitchen, the one that crawled across the smooth sheet-rocked walls then crawled into the back of the television that time, one that came out of the fern on the front porch and across the side of the house, the one in the living room, the one in the wreath that ate all the baby birds...there were others...some I've mercifully forgotten, some I can't forget.

Okay, here's a photo of the snake after it tied itself all up in knots. It's by the hot water heater. Bleh. Eww. And....yes, it's a rat snake. A GOOD snake. I know. should never have come slinking into MY home! They belong outside. They belong somewhere else, as in far far away from here. I'd rather have a mouse than a snake! Well, maybe that's not true, I don't want either of them! Hoss askes me "are you gonna tell them your Wuss husband couldn't save you from a SNAKE?" I tell him, "No way, dear, I can't tell them that!" So, ya'll didn't hear that from me.

I'm so glad my grandson didn't see all this. Look at those glowing eyes! It was about 3 and a 1/2 feet long.

You know, when my son was a little kid, he killed a snake, and nailed it to a board so he could skin it, and maybe make himself a belt out of it (Oh, he was like 12 or 13 years old, I guess) My older sister had been out, and he told her to come outside and see the huge snake he was going to make a belt out of. So she's going to humor him, and go see what he's doing, he seemed so proud of himself. Except....when they got outside, where the board was, that's all that was there...a board. The board he'd nailed dozens of small nails into to hold it on. Evidently, the snake was very much ALIVE, and after my son had riddled it's body with all these nails, and gone back inside, the snake decided to make a break for it. We always thought we'd see a big fat snake with nails coming out of it's body crawling around here somewhere. Like some kind of PinHead snake, a HellRaiser demon snake! My son took it better than I did. I just imagined this snake playing possum while Donivan nailed it to the board. Sigh. This might be a Calgon moment.


MySweetThree said...

ha ha..oh yes..I would say a Calgon moment is in order! You gave me a good laugh though..I picture a snake slithering around somewhere with a hundred nails in it! That must have been one tough snake!
And good thing...I mean, REALLY good thing, that it was a "nice" snake in the house...I would HAVE freaked out if it was poisonous!! Yikes!

Kudzu said...

LOL....I slept the day away, I think I must have suffered some sort of shock! (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)
Yeah, I had totally forgotten all about the incident with my son...I mean,really, how could I have forgotten such a thing?lol, but I did, and my sister recently reminded me of it back in November when we first saw this snake!